Decide or Suicide

Today I have made a very crazy decision, I am about to give up on my application to Australian National University world top 20 lehhhh... no joke! I am not sure whether this will be a wise decision or a foolish suicide. Giving up this chance is like telling the world I have made a wrong mistake since the first day i applied for study abroad program!

My initial planning was to apply for germany, but at that moment I thought that I have insufficient time to master basic german, and I did not expect it to be that late! But of course my first choice will be the United States! As usual party boys like me will love the states!

Wise Decision?

Well, dropping the application to ANU do give me another chance to reapply to other universities! I really do not wanted to regret after I get to ANU. Since uncle Ricky from Australia told me that Canberra is a dead t~o~w~n~~~~~ YUCKS!!! Hardly getting a part time job there will definitely drain my darling$ off. Without sufficient darling$ I can hardly go for courses like surf boarding, diving and even clubbing!

On the other hand, I hope I can get a part time job next semester in USM here. So I can stock up my darling$ and have big bullets for me to spam!!! Huhuhu...

Foolish Suicide?

Hm... Are my coursemate gonna fire me??? "Bullshit la this boon lim! say wan leave for aussie but now still c his face!" Hahaha... very mere chances but probably there are some that will flame me, i guess only that few with grudges on me! Hahaha...

If I do not get the place when i reapply??? WHAT CRAP CAN I DO??? I will seriously miss a god damn big chance and strayed from the purpose i came into USM! Hmmmm I hope to get some advises on this issue...

Anyway! No matter what! If i seriously not getting any scholarship or sponsors, family sponsors are not included in this category! I gonna drop from ANU!!! GOGOGO!!!

beLIEve

This word just coincidentally came to me when I am reading a manga call zombie powder. It sounds like LIE always comes with beLIEve, my god it sounds so negative. But it reflects the humans nature! Abusing the believes that people have on you! Who doesn't do that? Tell me!

Lets have me myself as an example, when I am small I always skip schools, practically during my form 5 when it is close to SPM. Hahaha... early in the morning I wake up early and get ready to cyber cafe, ooo that time was the time where dotA is being introduced to the public and people are still playing D-day that time. My god, i can't imagined that i abused the trust my mom had in me and skipping school. But luckily that was just a couple of time. Ain't too bad right?

So what about you? that was just a short scenario of my beLIEve related scenario. What do you think? Shall we change our attitude? Good luck!

Enjoy the Journey!

These few days are such hectic days for me! A lot happened! It starts with a hellish Monday with super long lab report, tuesday with endless waiting for my dean to get the signature, wednesday with the breaking up thingy, thursday with endless waiting for my dean and gotta change the subjects i gonna take in ANU even those subjects that i really wanna take, Friday!!! Fry the Day!!! Yum yum... I really enjoyed this friday!!! Sitting back watch movie in front of my laptop and have a cup of super concentrated iced nescafe!

The satisfaction is there while you tried your best to manage your time well for the few days. The moment i got the signature i was really relieved, part of my job for the application is done, now just wait! The feeling is wonderful, as if I am done with the most important task of the week. Of course there are a lot of painful moments in the middle of the week. But I do enjoy the moments after i recalled them. There must be a JOURNEY to achievement. So do you think journey is more important or achievement???

Youngsters these days are focuses too much on the achievement of the efforts they have committed. Well life is a marathon, not a 100m race. So why rush? Enjoy the journey, or choose to suffocate if you take the 100m race way to run a marathon. Why not taking the time to look at people, scenery around you, enjoy the breeze, enjoy the suntan, enjoy the rain drops.

Well it just depends on how you evaluate(does this word sounds too scientific?) the breeze that can turn into a strong wind that hinders your movements, suntan that can turn into a scorching hot sun bath that dehydrates you, or the rain drop that can turn into a storm that shivers you from your skin till your bones.

In daily life, these circumstances always appear, it just depends on whether do you enjoy it. If you evaluate them optimistically, it turns out good. The reason is simple as : just because you love it! Else circumstances turns into killers, now choose fight or flight!

ps : This passage is written to a friend of mine who always get him/herself into troubles just because of his/her mindset =) hope you enjoy it!

I DON'T WANNA go for ENGINEERING in ANU

Crap... wazzup with the education system in Malaysia. This international office is giving guides that misguided me slightly but giving me more headaches, my deputy dean says i can take subjects irrelevant to my course, but my dean "advises" me to follow our school philosophy and get into courses related and show em how good is our materials engineering student.

I DON'T WANNA TAKE COURSES RELATED TO ENGINEERING LAAAAA... Dah lah gonna extend. Why still taking the course i am gonna study for 4 years

But anyway, today is another brand new day with brand new breath, brand new emotions, and lastly i pray for a brand new love story to begins. I am single! :)

In this very brand new day, we went for a dotA game after our mechanical metallurgy test. Huhuhu... Well i can see some faces that i use to see, emo face while losing... hm... you guys should know, and please don't mind if that particular person read this. But in fact it is true that you should just laugh all the way through thou losing, and commit your teamwork; not just commit your teamwork and start to have some evil grin (hmm should i say smiles or happy face instead of evil grin) ONLY WHEN YOU ARE WINNING. Thanks if you do not mind to change.

SINgle

Is SINgle a SIN? Being SINgle is not a SIN. But when you are not SINgle, and you wanted to be SINgle, that's a SIN. I felt so SINful these 2 days coz i kept thinking of wanna be SINgle at the very next morning i awake from my dreams.

Love brings sweetness, excitement, making you feel fresh everyday. But today at this very moment, I am so worry that love will take the form of hatred in my relationship. I want to be a SINgle, am I SINful? It's hard to maintain love while lovers are far apart, the sweetness is thinned by the distance, the excitement is pressed by the time, fresh feelings begins to rot.

Hm. That's all for today, still got a test tomorrow, sigh so much trouble these days.

Izzit a rainy day???

What's so great bout rainy day? Excuse to skip class? Nah... I made promise to my dean in the letter i wrote last week to stop skipping class! Best time for afternoon nap? ZZZ I don't sleep in the afternoon.

In fact, today is not a rainy day at all, but i just felt like it's raining outside. Since every time when it rains, sweet and bitter memories gushes up to my mind. Not sure why, but I do love and hate rainy days.

pigletzZz and piggyzZz both love rainy days. But these 2 days it's another tsunami in our relationship. I hope I can survive it, meanwhile I hope we will be separated by this tsunami. So, what to do with rainy days???

Our relationship was reinforced by rainy days. Remembering the rainy days we will walk under one umbrella. Holding the umbrella and taking every opportunity to hold her nearer and nearer to me! SIGH... but the bag blocked us. The feeling is such sweet memory, as if the warmth is able to melt our heart like a cotton candy in our mouth. Exhilarating!

I have did numerous crappy stuffs and said numerous stupid things during rainy days. I remembered the moment when I was with X, rain poured in front of us while it's time for us to depart for home after a movie. Without wasting a chance, I grabbed her hand and told her, "Look, even God doesn't let you go home, we are meant to be together."

Rainy day is the best day for confessions, my dream is to confess under a rainy day. The pouring rain shrouded my voice, under the umbrella, two lovers are so close to each other, but yet to be together, the moment starts with an eye contact, looking at our own reflections from each others eyes. As time passes, the voices of the rain drops squelched, the sun showers us with warmth, holding her hands, softly I ask: "Do I deserve a chance?" and pray for a rainbow.

Today the memories came to my mind as if I were in a rainy day. Such a sweet day, thou not a rainy day.

First day to blog!!! What a hellish day!

Woot!!! I have so much time for blogging??? Amazing!!! Its just a transition period to get away from my hectic lab report that require me to write loads of discussion!!!

9.00am Rainy day again... such hellish weather!!! Making me wanna continue to cover my head with my pillow!!! But i remembered i need to get my study abroad program form signed by my dean!!! Or else i can't get into ANU!!! Sigh no1. Just wake my ass up, and took my bath, spray myself with 4 shots of Burberry weekend, hmmm refreshing!

9.45am "Dik, kalau nak sign untuk Student Exchange Dr. Azhar(Deputy Dean) tak leh sign lah. Lagipun dia kat KL belum balik. Prof Fauzi ada kat Penang, nanti datang petang lah. Sigh no2. Crap lo... no need wake up so early and rush to my faculty in such rainy day.

12.00pm AIYO FORGOT my room key!!! DIE lo!!! Sigh no3. Called my roommate immediately and waited for him till 1.45pm, and got my key from the room and rush to the lab.

2.00pm "WHY are you late???" there comes Assc. Prof Mariatti. "My watch just in time." "But on my watch u r late for 6 minutes." Blah blah blahhhhh sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 4th time d. Just blahhh out my forgot key problem. And i am so god damn blur during the lab. the lab is another hellish lab!!!

5.00pm Computer lab closed!!! i cannot print my observations from the Microscope!!! SIGHHHHHHHHH 5th time. Everywhere is closed, OMG have to print it myself. sighhhhh

6.00pm Cannot tahan d.... go back take bath buy 2 nasi lemak from the corridoor makan then sleeeeepppppp

11.00pm Huhu!!! Filled with energy, continue with lab report!!! So much to write! Need to do printing!!!! HELLISH!!! So tiring!!! Sigh... Luckily my savior bungkus maggi goreng kosong for me to refill, and i killed several of my brain cells again by drinking Coke together with the maggi!

Next day 3.00am I still have a quiz tomorrow!!! Engineering Management!!! Sigh!!! not even started to study the notes yet!!! Still have my lab report to prepare!!! SIghhh Sighhh Sighhh sleepless nights....

It's a bad day for me today, cold war with my piggyzZz again. Sigh... I felt so wrong because i said to her I wanted to do my assignment instead of talking to her while she called me when i was doing my assignment yesterday night!!!